One of the most controversial subjects of our days is that of relationships. More precisely, the question is whether we can be happier in a relationship that is characterized by dependence, or in an independent relationship?
To understand the difference between the two types of relationships, we need to give a few short definitions. A dependent relationship means that one of the partners doesn’t take a single step alone; in other words he or she needs the other one permanently, is uncertain and doesn’t dare to take decisions.
Generally this type of relationship involves a “boss”, meaning that one of the two partners takes all decisions without consulting his or her partner.
Another aspect of this type of relationship is that one of the partners depends on the emotional state of the other one. If the dominant partner makes a sudden move or decides to separate, the dependent partner becomes completely disoriented and loses his or her emotional balance. If the partner comes back, happiness is restored.
The basis of dependent relationships is the fear of being abandoned.
In case of independent relationships, the situation is the opposite: both partners are free to take any decision for themselves or for their life as a couple. Usually independent persons are more cooperative than dependent ones. They can negotiate upcoming issues, and they can successfully discuss and come to a compromise regarding most problems.
Relationships in which partners feel free are not suffocating and stressful, so they are vastly preferable to dependent relationships. The partner that feels dependent lives in a permanent state of suffering and fear; in an independent relationship, these persons can be liberated and completely transformed.
The first step that persons in a dependent relationship have to take is to regain their sense of self using various techniques. The second step such persons need to take is to accept their partner the way they are, without criticism.
However, the most important step is turning towards God in prayer. There are many cases known in which relationship problems were solved with the aid of prayer and attending church ministries by both partners. Experienced ministers can be of immense help in aiding partners to adopt a certain behavior and start healing their relationship.