Parents will do their best to make their children happy. However, there are some things we probably do with good intent, but they are detrimental to the child’s mental health.
Keeping the child under pressure
When a child comes home from school, we at once ask about what marks they got, and if the answer doesn’t sound good, we start scolding them instantly, sometimes even comparing them with seemingly more successful children.
Parents may think that this way they motivate their children; in fact, this only makes a child nervous and confused. The best we can do is to find out what the problem is and ask if we can help them.
We want the child to be perfect
Our ideas of perfection include the child doing well at school, attending special classes after school, playing sports, behaving kindly, being courteous, learning languages and so on. The problem is that even children have a limited amount of energy. If they’re tired after school, they might not be able to learn something extra efficiently. Most parents say they are pushing extracurricular activities for the child’s sake, so they may become successful adults. This is good, but we also need to make sure that they have enough time to relax.
We should choose together some days for extra classes when the child has less studying to do at home. Don’t force your will on the child; if you want them to learn to swim or play the piano, first make sure they are interested and enjoy these activities. If not, maybe they’re interested in something else. Give them the opportunity to decide what they are interested in.
Your mood influences the way you treat your child
Many parents don’t even realize that they are sometimes unable to control themselves. If a mother has had a fight with her colleagues at work, or she had to work extra hours, it is understandable that she becomes tense. However, this should not be leashed out on a child. When children feel that something is not right, they become uneasy. If your behavior also reflects the fact that something is wrong, they will be scared.
If you are having a bad day, tell your child that adults sometimes may be in a bad mood, but you aren’t angry and you’re sorry that you can’t pay as much attention to them as usual. This way your child will not blame themselves and start wondering about what they did wrong.