The pregnancy test came out positive. I stood watching it for a whole five minutes. The two clear blue lines would not disappear. I checked again. A line – you’re not pregnant. Two lines – you are pregnant.
Yes, I was definitely pregnant.
My heart started to race, my head began to spin, and my stomach jumped up into my throat. I was nervous and happy, scared and very excited at the same time. Finally, it happened. After so many years of dreams and preparation for this day, I finally succeeded. I will become a mother.
What I didn’t know was that in nine short months my life would change completely; I just started the most difficult, complicated and exhausting, but incredibly beautiful journey of my life.
In nine months, I had to learn what it means to be a mother. Now I can say with absolute certainty that the role of the mother is the most difficult in the world, and I can truly appreciate my own mother for the way she raised me.
I have learned about the experience of being a mother, and, I came up with nine things your own mother never told you:
- You made her cry many times
She cried when she learned that she was pregnant. She cried when you were born. She cried with happiness. She cried tears of pain. She cried because she felt for you. She felt your pain and your happiness, and shared these feelings with you, whether you realized it or not.
- She wanted that last serving of pie …
… but when she saw the look in her eyes as you were looking forward to eat it yourself, she couldn’t have had it. She knew she would be happier if she saw you happy.
- It hurts being a mother
And it hurts incredibly bad. It hurt her when you kicked her ribs and were restless in her belly. It hurt her when you were born. It hurt her when, as a child, you were rejected and didn’t have anyone to play with. It hurt her when you fell and injured your knee. It hurt her when you cried for the first time … she hurts even now when she sees you sad.
- She was always afraid
No matter what you think, your mother was terrified that she wouldn’t be a good mother, that she wouldn’t raise you the right way, and that she wouldn’t be able to meet your needs. She was afraid that you wouldn’t manage too well in life and that she wouldn’t be able to help. She is afraid even now that she can’t protect you from your ordeals – and she might be afraid as long as she lives.
- She knows she is not perfect
She is probably her own worst critic. Your mother knows all her flaws and sometimes she hates herself for them. She has the most difficult time when it comes to you: she wants to be a perfect mother, and she never wants to harm you; but, like every human, she makes mistakes. Probably she still hasn’t forgiven herself for times she did something wrong to you.
- She carried you for way more than nine months
After you were born, you needed her non stop. She held you in her arms while cleaning and washing dishes and even while you were sleeping. Her arms were tired, but she never complained. She held you to her chest and you calmed down. She knew that you were happy in her arms.
- Her heart breaks every time she sees you crying
Nothing was sadder to her than your crying, when she saw you suffering and she knew she had no power to make you feel better. She did everything possible to stop you from crying, and when she failed her heart broke into a million tiny pieces.
- You are her highest priority
She went to work without breakfast, taking a shower or having slept enough. She did everything for you. And your needs were always her priority. She spent long hours taking care of her baby. And at night when she couldn’t fall asleep, she rocked you until dawn. The next morning, she got out of bed and went to work.
- She would do everything all over again
It’s difficult being a mother, but is the most satisfying thing in the world. Nothing compares to the feeling of earing your child saying “mommy”. Despite all the difficulties, sleepless nights and the problems she encountered while raising you, if she could turn back the time she would go through everything again for you – because she loves you.
So, when you see your mother next time, make sure to tell her “Mom, thank you”. And let her know that you love her.